So it is no secret to those close to me that I have been struggling lately. As a Christian wife and mother; business owner and all around person...I am struggling. I say often to my husband, 'I am not okay...and I do not know how to be okay.'
Now, before we get any farther...blogging has always been for me...anyone can read it...but it is for myself, please understand this before following along with me any farther.
Life just doesn't seem to have the same purpose it once did...friends have back away, family think we are crazy (or backsliden) and have backed away. The people that we would expect to have supported us no matter what are the ones that have hurt the most. We do not ask or require much, but, love our kids...love us.
We are committed to serving God wherever He puts us. In the newly wed state we were able to help with the youth ministry in our first church, one that my Handsome attended when he was a young boy! A short time later he was able to be interim pastor in a small little church for a few months in between pastors. After that time was over we went back to helping in the our first church, until we received the call for Handsome to consider being associate pastor at a church about 80 miles away. This would require a move...though he would continue working in our current town so he drove 80 miles one way 4-5 days a week PLUS had his pastoral duties to fulfill. We appreciate the opportunity that God gave us to be used in this time. It was during this time that we also realized I wasn't going to be able to carry pregnancies to full term and that adoption was difficult and expensive!!! It was here, also, that I realized I had Poly Cystic Ovary Syndrome. A terrible thing that has happened to me that is responsible for my difficulty to become pregnant, to stay pregnant and to maintain a healthy weight.
Anyway, while we were in this little church was when I started to see that just because a person was a Christian didn't mean they could be trusted, nor did it mean that they would really keep their word! It really started to take my desire to serve away. But my heart was still fixed on Jesus, it just didn't always want to serve among other people. I saw lies and manipulation like I had never known. Small town girl was raised by parents to love on others and give the benefit of the doubt. This wasn't always wise to be doing, as I was learning!
After 3 years and 3 miscarriages we were asked to move again...this time 5 hours farther West and to an unpaid position of service in a local church that was struggling. My Handsome was able to find an electrical job in the new town...and we purchased land in a nearby city to build our home. We lived in the basement of the church for a time while the house was being built. During this time a Christian man was building our home and the church had asked their pastor to leave and asked my husband to be the pastor. Unfortunately was answered yes too quickly before really giving it proper time of prayer. He was officially the pastor of the church, in some areas this was a blessing. We had the parsonage to live in (the Christian businessman had taken us for A LOT of money in building of our home, messed it up in several ways and we were forced to sell it rather than live in it because we couldn't afford it with all of the mix ups!) However, in taking this pastorate we also lost a donation that was going to come our way to pay for our eldest daughters adoption. The full $27,000 that was raised for it was denied to us because of my husband accepting a call to a pulpit! It was heartbreaking to see this happening. Three months later we received our first foster placement, a boy whom was very ill and six days old. We would go on to adopt him and he is ours...we are so blessed to be his parents...but more about him later.
Turns out not even two years later we were given 30 days to vacate the parsonage in the middle of one of the coldest winters on the books and with Christmas just 3 weeks away. We had two young kids and did not know what we were going to do! A bright spot came, a Christian businessman in town and his wife had a house for sale, it was in need of repair...but they were willing to allow us to move into it before all the paperwork came through! My husband worked his regular job during the day and then would go to the 'new house' all night to get it ready to move into before our 30 days was up. It was a very trying time for our family...the kids missed their daddy...daddy wasn't getting any sleep, or very little when he did!!!
In the end of this trial we had a home, a newfound friend but were without a church and most of any other friends we had made in town.
At this point in the story I am going to pause and write more in part 2!
My husband tells me that we are to find something to be thankful for in every day...so I will end my sorrowful posts with something to be thankful for....I am thankful for the fact that I was raised by a father who was hard working and encouraged me to work hard but also to love other people and be honest!
We never knew when we started our journey together on August 10th, 2002 that it was going to be so difficult. Not in the 'normal' ways. My husband and myself are very committed to each other and have no thoughts of wanting to be anything but married to eachother! Where the struggle comes in is where you would least expect it. From the beginning of our marriage ministry was very important to us both....but it was an easy way to spend time away from eachother 'for a good reason' and before we knew it much of our time was spent apart or together...with many other people around. Don't get me wrong, serving God alongside my Handsome is one of my favorite things to do! But it also is something that Satan has used as an easy tool to drive us apart emotionally as well.
Friday, February 5, 2016
Tuesday, August 4, 2015
So here I am again....
PCOS is a terrible TERRIBLE theif. It steals so much from my life. I have decided to take my life back in the only way that has been successful in the past....the Ideal Protein Diet. I did it in 2010 and lost 48 lbs, felt great, got pregnant and gave birth to a HEALTHY full term baby girl in 2011.
Fast forward 5 years, 2 more miscarriages and my PCOS has taken over my eating, my weight, my health and my cycles (or lack thereof)....which has caused me to be put on 3 different meds and feeling terrible and struggling with depression (not extreme, but some.)
I started what I am calling MyIdeal2015 yesterday, August 3rd. I had 64.5 lbs from my initial weigh in to my goal, but my real goal is gaining my life back, being able to love on my kids more and (prayerfully) getting and staying pregnant with another healthy full term baby! I will check in every week after my weigh in (either Monday evening or Tuesday) as my journal to keep me accountable.
My only complaint so far is of the headache, lack of energy and terrible taste of olive oil. Perks, my home scale already moved...no heartburn....and I slept well last night!!!
See you next week!
Fast forward 5 years, 2 more miscarriages and my PCOS has taken over my eating, my weight, my health and my cycles (or lack thereof)....which has caused me to be put on 3 different meds and feeling terrible and struggling with depression (not extreme, but some.)
I started what I am calling MyIdeal2015 yesterday, August 3rd. I had 64.5 lbs from my initial weigh in to my goal, but my real goal is gaining my life back, being able to love on my kids more and (prayerfully) getting and staying pregnant with another healthy full term baby! I will check in every week after my weigh in (either Monday evening or Tuesday) as my journal to keep me accountable.
My only complaint so far is of the headache, lack of energy and terrible taste of olive oil. Perks, my home scale already moved...no heartburn....and I slept well last night!!!
See you next week!
Monday, March 2, 2015
Tricky Dirty Wrong+
First let me apologize for the 4 year hiatus on this space!!! We had our healthy happy stubborn baby girl on March 19 2011 and then 5 months and 5 days later brought our 4th child home from the Lonestar State at 10 days old!!! Needless to say the last 4 years have been a little crazy. We have also continued to have foster children in our home...so for the last 3 years we have consistently had 6 children in our home!!!
I am coming her today to talk about something that is greatly troubling me today. SATAN! He is so tricky and his tricks sometimes are just downright dirty. You make a decision according to what you believe God would want you to do but this lion sure tries to make you question your decision and at time make you think you made the wrong one.
I have always struggled with graphic, nasty dreams. Dreams that are recurring for sometimes years at a time and they are always bold, vivid and happening on a regular basis. I can think of several that I am so thankful that through prayer with my Handsome have went away. Snake dreams come and go and when I say snake dreams I'm not meaning snakes of normal size and nature...but snakes that take over the world and eat the people you love the most, in horrifying detail.
But for the last little while I have struggle with a dream that hits me right in a personal insecurity. It is a dream I do not really wish to share, in fact only one of my daycare moms knows what it is and no one else. But there are times that it comes and goes, but Satan has used a godly conversation with a friend and turned my insecurity of this situation into an awful and heartbreaking recurring dream.
It affects the way I think about certain situations, it causes me to over analyse things, it causes me to live in fear.....and deep down I believe the lie he wants me to believe isn't true. I pray it never becomes true....but still I wrestle.
The worst part about it is that I really do not have a close person that I can tell everything to. So I am here...writing my thoughts, my fears, my heartbreak....on this site. Not exactly the most friendly 'welcome back' post ever....but an honest one for sure.
I am coming her today to talk about something that is greatly troubling me today. SATAN! He is so tricky and his tricks sometimes are just downright dirty. You make a decision according to what you believe God would want you to do but this lion sure tries to make you question your decision and at time make you think you made the wrong one.
I have always struggled with graphic, nasty dreams. Dreams that are recurring for sometimes years at a time and they are always bold, vivid and happening on a regular basis. I can think of several that I am so thankful that through prayer with my Handsome have went away. Snake dreams come and go and when I say snake dreams I'm not meaning snakes of normal size and nature...but snakes that take over the world and eat the people you love the most, in horrifying detail.
But for the last little while I have struggle with a dream that hits me right in a personal insecurity. It is a dream I do not really wish to share, in fact only one of my daycare moms knows what it is and no one else. But there are times that it comes and goes, but Satan has used a godly conversation with a friend and turned my insecurity of this situation into an awful and heartbreaking recurring dream.
It affects the way I think about certain situations, it causes me to over analyse things, it causes me to live in fear.....and deep down I believe the lie he wants me to believe isn't true. I pray it never becomes true....but still I wrestle.
The worst part about it is that I really do not have a close person that I can tell everything to. So I am here...writing my thoughts, my fears, my heartbreak....on this site. Not exactly the most friendly 'welcome back' post ever....but an honest one for sure.
Monday, February 14, 2011
Tuesday, January 18, 2011
A quote and my thoughts
"One woman will brag about her children, while another complains about hers; they could probably swap children without swapping tunes"
I found this quote (without author noted) and it really hit home to me. I have always tried very hard not to sound like a mother complaining about my children. Have I failed, YES, but I try each day to be ONLY thankful for my children and where we are. Do I complain about other things, more than I should...but why would I complain about one of the top three most amazing gifts God has blessed me with?
I know many women who have very little good to say about being a mother, or sharing the experience with their spouse. Is being a mother hard, YES! It is probably one of the most difficult hats I have to wear. But it is amazing, and I find it amazing how God has pieced our family together in His most perfect way! Now I know I have complained of situations before, but what do you hear fairly new mothers complain about out of the gates?
"I am so tired, this child wakes up for nightly feedings and I cannot sleep." I always found the night time feedings a blessing. The house is quiet, the lights are dim, and there are no distractions and absolutely nothing else for me to be doing but feeding that precious baby. I find this true of all my babies, even our foster babies, I have never minded getting up for that precious bonding time no matter what the hour.
"Changing diapers is for the birds, those blow outs are the worst." Here, I do tend to say that it isn't the most pleasant thing in the world to do...but having two children that struggled to go 'stinky' more than once a week as little ones I was always relieved when they would go...no matter how the outcome showed itself. Pleasant, no, but you had to know this was bound to happen when you started thinking about having children.
These are just a couple of things that I hear often even at baby showers when the blissful expectant mother is 'getting advise' from the already 'experienced' parents. It makes me sad that such things have to be brought into that precious happiness that expecting your first baby brings!
Now I am getting to experience a new level of parenthood. Both of my children to this point are adopted, because I was 'pre-menopausal' (however you spell it) and would not have any children after our 4th miscarriage. God prooved Himself to be still in the miracle business when in August of 2010 we discovered we were expecting! As I sit here now we are at 29 weeks and still doing well! You hear many women with a vast number of complaints about pregnancy. Here is another place I try very hard not to complain...this is a blessing, I know MANY people that would do almost anything to be in the state I am in right now. They wouldn't be caring about how much the scale has changed in 7 months or that they waddle everywhere they walk or they are not sleeping all the way through the night or that they cannot fit into 'normal' clothing or how uncomfortable they are or all the other things you often hear from pregnant women. Here again, I have tried very hard to not complain...have I failed, most likely, but my desire is to be thankful for this pregnancy that God has blessed me with. It has been exciting to get to experience the amazingness of a baby growing inside of my womb and feeling the kicks, and while my pregnancy hasn't been a bed of roses, even that has been somewhat exciting. We have had something like 7 ultrasounds since 6 weeks, 5 days and our last being just two weeks ago. I get to have at least one more before she is born too!
So going back to that quote, what kind of a mother do you want to be. If I were to constantly complain about my children, now that they are 4 years old, they would be hearing that and what would that do to them? Not only that, but what does it do to the people you are complaining to? Do they have children of their own? Do they not? Are they having trouble having children and are sitting there thinking 'lady if only you knew how much I would love to take your children off your hands and love on them' because of what they have been through? Our words strike farther than we think sometimes, and when dealing with such a precious gift as children we need to watch what we say....not only for ourselves, but for our children and people around us!
I found this quote (without author noted) and it really hit home to me. I have always tried very hard not to sound like a mother complaining about my children. Have I failed, YES, but I try each day to be ONLY thankful for my children and where we are. Do I complain about other things, more than I should...but why would I complain about one of the top three most amazing gifts God has blessed me with?
I know many women who have very little good to say about being a mother, or sharing the experience with their spouse. Is being a mother hard, YES! It is probably one of the most difficult hats I have to wear. But it is amazing, and I find it amazing how God has pieced our family together in His most perfect way! Now I know I have complained of situations before, but what do you hear fairly new mothers complain about out of the gates?
"I am so tired, this child wakes up for nightly feedings and I cannot sleep." I always found the night time feedings a blessing. The house is quiet, the lights are dim, and there are no distractions and absolutely nothing else for me to be doing but feeding that precious baby. I find this true of all my babies, even our foster babies, I have never minded getting up for that precious bonding time no matter what the hour.
"Changing diapers is for the birds, those blow outs are the worst." Here, I do tend to say that it isn't the most pleasant thing in the world to do...but having two children that struggled to go 'stinky' more than once a week as little ones I was always relieved when they would go...no matter how the outcome showed itself. Pleasant, no, but you had to know this was bound to happen when you started thinking about having children.
These are just a couple of things that I hear often even at baby showers when the blissful expectant mother is 'getting advise' from the already 'experienced' parents. It makes me sad that such things have to be brought into that precious happiness that expecting your first baby brings!
Now I am getting to experience a new level of parenthood. Both of my children to this point are adopted, because I was 'pre-menopausal' (however you spell it) and would not have any children after our 4th miscarriage. God prooved Himself to be still in the miracle business when in August of 2010 we discovered we were expecting! As I sit here now we are at 29 weeks and still doing well! You hear many women with a vast number of complaints about pregnancy. Here is another place I try very hard not to complain...this is a blessing, I know MANY people that would do almost anything to be in the state I am in right now. They wouldn't be caring about how much the scale has changed in 7 months or that they waddle everywhere they walk or they are not sleeping all the way through the night or that they cannot fit into 'normal' clothing or how uncomfortable they are or all the other things you often hear from pregnant women. Here again, I have tried very hard to not complain...have I failed, most likely, but my desire is to be thankful for this pregnancy that God has blessed me with. It has been exciting to get to experience the amazingness of a baby growing inside of my womb and feeling the kicks, and while my pregnancy hasn't been a bed of roses, even that has been somewhat exciting. We have had something like 7 ultrasounds since 6 weeks, 5 days and our last being just two weeks ago. I get to have at least one more before she is born too!
So going back to that quote, what kind of a mother do you want to be. If I were to constantly complain about my children, now that they are 4 years old, they would be hearing that and what would that do to them? Not only that, but what does it do to the people you are complaining to? Do they have children of their own? Do they not? Are they having trouble having children and are sitting there thinking 'lady if only you knew how much I would love to take your children off your hands and love on them' because of what they have been through? Our words strike farther than we think sometimes, and when dealing with such a precious gift as children we need to watch what we say....not only for ourselves, but for our children and people around us!
Wednesday, November 10, 2010
Countdown!
But just as big as the half way point is the fact that in 7 {SEVEN} days we will have are big ultrasound and hopefully will know if we should plan pink or blue! This seems like it might really happen! We are thankful and trusting God!
Thursday, August 26, 2010
A blessing!
We had our second ultrasound today! Two weeks ago Grasshopper measured 6 weeks and 2 days with a heartbeat of 128. That put our due date at April 5th 2011! Today I went in nervous, with our history it just doesn't seem possible that we MIGHT have a great pregnancy with a full term healthy baby...but the doctor today said (while anything can happen) she didn't see any reason to worry at this point!
Grasshopper measured 8 weeks and 5 days today with a heartbeat of 180! What a blessing it was! I was able to hear the heartbeat and see Grasshoppers' little heart beating on the screen by way of a small little flicker!
I am slightly more excited now but they are going to have me come in for another ultrasound in 2 weeks just to check things out again! I am so excited, at that point I should be just shy of 11 weeks...that is almost all the way through my first trimester! Definately uncharted territory for us here! Praise the Lord!
Grasshopper measured 8 weeks and 5 days today with a heartbeat of 180! What a blessing it was! I was able to hear the heartbeat and see Grasshoppers' little heart beating on the screen by way of a small little flicker!
I am slightly more excited now but they are going to have me come in for another ultrasound in 2 weeks just to check things out again! I am so excited, at that point I should be just shy of 11 weeks...that is almost all the way through my first trimester! Definately uncharted territory for us here! Praise the Lord!
Wednesday, August 25, 2010
Please forgive me...
So I know everyone says I need to be excited, and I am! Do you not think that a couple who wanted to have a large family who finds out through 4 miscarriages that we no longer have a shot at having natural children because I am no longer ovulating even with fertility helps then 4+ years later finds herself pregnant is excited at the possibility of having a baby? Do you really not think we are excited?
But here is the thing, we HAVE had 4 miscarriages. We HAVE had no positive end to a pregnancy in the past. I HAVE been haveing sypmtoms, but that doesn't mean that it is just going to be OKAY!
Please forgive me for not jumping up and down, please forgive me if you do not think I am putting enough faith in God, please forgive me if you think I worry too much, please forgive me if you think I am being lazy, please forgive me if you think I am not counting my blessing.
Do you know how difficult it is to answer the question, "how many children do you have?" with the number 2 (before knowing of this pregnancy.) I want to scream from the rooftops that I have 6 children, just because the other four never lived a second on this earth doesn't mean they were not my children. But other people do not get that. I am greatful and blessed beyond all measure with the two beatufiul children I do have...and if God thought they were all we needed than I would be okay with that. But our hearts tell us different. We are still actively persuing adoption, and we have a baby that is 8 weeks and 1 day growing inside of me. We have passed the point of pregnancy of three of our four miscarriages and things are looking pretty good...but we are still early on.
So if you choose to talk with me, please remember that we have history. Please don't just assume because I am healthier now than ever that everything is going to be okay...please know the best thing to do is to pray. I am scared, and worried, and nervous that the ultrasound tomorrow is going to look the same as the one 2 weeks ago and show that my baby is not growing. I look toward the positive as much as possible, but at the end of the day the best I can do is, "this one is a fighter, we are going to be okay." I tell myself that often, and pray it to be true. But really, my heart will not stop the hurt until around 7 months from now I am holding my healthy happy baby in my arms.
Please forgive me...
But here is the thing, we HAVE had 4 miscarriages. We HAVE had no positive end to a pregnancy in the past. I HAVE been haveing sypmtoms, but that doesn't mean that it is just going to be OKAY!
Please forgive me for not jumping up and down, please forgive me if you do not think I am putting enough faith in God, please forgive me if you think I worry too much, please forgive me if you think I am being lazy, please forgive me if you think I am not counting my blessing.
Do you know how difficult it is to answer the question, "how many children do you have?" with the number 2 (before knowing of this pregnancy.) I want to scream from the rooftops that I have 6 children, just because the other four never lived a second on this earth doesn't mean they were not my children. But other people do not get that. I am greatful and blessed beyond all measure with the two beatufiul children I do have...and if God thought they were all we needed than I would be okay with that. But our hearts tell us different. We are still actively persuing adoption, and we have a baby that is 8 weeks and 1 day growing inside of me. We have passed the point of pregnancy of three of our four miscarriages and things are looking pretty good...but we are still early on.
So if you choose to talk with me, please remember that we have history. Please don't just assume because I am healthier now than ever that everything is going to be okay...please know the best thing to do is to pray. I am scared, and worried, and nervous that the ultrasound tomorrow is going to look the same as the one 2 weeks ago and show that my baby is not growing. I look toward the positive as much as possible, but at the end of the day the best I can do is, "this one is a fighter, we are going to be okay." I tell myself that often, and pray it to be true. But really, my heart will not stop the hurt until around 7 months from now I am holding my healthy happy baby in my arms.
Please forgive me...
Wednesday, July 21, 2010
~~~Encore Children's Boutique~~~
You must go HERE! I have launched an online children's boutique I am calling ENCORE and we now have one client and 36 items posted with many more to come in the days/weeks ahead! Please go and shop and Encore for newborn through 6 at this point! If you need a place to consign your new or gently used children's clothing please feel free to post a comment and leave a way to contact you so that we can set it up! I look forward to doing business with you!
Friday, June 18, 2010
Wednesday, June 2, 2010
The way things are...
So. seriously, I have another 'gripe' to blog about. I could gripe every day most likely, but I try not to dwell on these things too much!
I am having the most difficult time with people...people that cannot be honest and that is in any avenue of life. It might be calling in sick when you don't want to work, or trying to bring your sick child to daycare while under the influence of tylenol. It just seems that it is ACCEPTED in today's society that telling a little lie isn't a lie at all and no one bats an eye! I don't know about you but that makes me uncomfortable. Especially when it comes to friends, I will tell you that my husband have a very small number of people that we acctually consider friends, which i ssad...but safe at the same time. We have had a large group of friends in the past and seemed to only be hurt or let down time and time again...and even now there are people in our community that once were friends...or so we thought, in actuallity they were only our friends because they needed something from us or needed Handsome to do some work for them. GGGGGRRRRRR
SeRiOuSlY pEoPlE!!!!
Lets just be honest and the world would be a better place, if you really do not want to be our friends but would like some help with something, just be honest about it. We are rather busy people and so it might not be right away, but most likely we will help in any way we can....because that is who we are!
Another thing, if you are in a position of helping people already...I mean your job puts you in with working with people, it could be a receptionist, a customer service rep., a pastor, or working in a restaurant (any job that involves people) DO NOT COMPLAIN ABOUT HAVING TO HELP PEOPLE! It does not matter how petty their problem it is YOUR JOB! I have to say that at times this one is difficult with me, I have some days where it seems that a client my not be understanding my hours or my rules or what have you and it gets a little frusterating so I complain to my husband or to one of my few friends.....and I need to do better.
But while I work on some of my weaknesses, can I challange you do to the same? If you work with people, have a people serving spirit!
I am having the most difficult time with people...people that cannot be honest and that is in any avenue of life. It might be calling in sick when you don't want to work, or trying to bring your sick child to daycare while under the influence of tylenol. It just seems that it is ACCEPTED in today's society that telling a little lie isn't a lie at all and no one bats an eye! I don't know about you but that makes me uncomfortable. Especially when it comes to friends, I will tell you that my husband have a very small number of people that we acctually consider friends, which i ssad...but safe at the same time. We have had a large group of friends in the past and seemed to only be hurt or let down time and time again...and even now there are people in our community that once were friends...or so we thought, in actuallity they were only our friends because they needed something from us or needed Handsome to do some work for them. GGGGGRRRRRR
SeRiOuSlY pEoPlE!!!!
Lets just be honest and the world would be a better place, if you really do not want to be our friends but would like some help with something, just be honest about it. We are rather busy people and so it might not be right away, but most likely we will help in any way we can....because that is who we are!
Another thing, if you are in a position of helping people already...I mean your job puts you in with working with people, it could be a receptionist, a customer service rep., a pastor, or working in a restaurant (any job that involves people) DO NOT COMPLAIN ABOUT HAVING TO HELP PEOPLE! It does not matter how petty their problem it is YOUR JOB! I have to say that at times this one is difficult with me, I have some days where it seems that a client my not be understanding my hours or my rules or what have you and it gets a little frusterating so I complain to my husband or to one of my few friends.....and I need to do better.
But while I work on some of my weaknesses, can I challange you do to the same? If you work with people, have a people serving spirit!
Wednesday, May 19, 2010
God's Promises ...for BoYs...
I recently have taken the time to read through this little devotional book for boys. I think it is a great book for both boys that can read and a nice reference book for parents of younger boys that are not yet able to read! My son is only three and with things like, "God's Promises when you need to be a good sport" and then they give a little poem, along with three scripture references. This book is full of great places to go to in the Bible to help little boys in certain situations in life!
The other part of the book is the wonderful illustrations! Each of the Promises has an illustration that goes with it and the poem! A great book for parents of boys both younger and early teens!
Friday, May 7, 2010
Happy Childcare Provider Day!
A friend, who also has a daycare posted this on my fac.eboo.k page this morning...just had to share!
A CHILDCARE PROVIDER~ A willing partner for working moms,she comforts, pampers, soothes and calms With all the love she has to share,she's great to have when mommy can't be there.She loves to rock a fussy child,corrects the one that gets too wild.She hears her share of tearful pleas,and comforts those with skinned up k...nees.With little children she plays games of peek,for bigger ones it's hide and seek.She is an expert at each game,but somehow loses just the same.She helps them learn the alphabet,and gives them hugs when they're upset.She gently tucks them in their beds,with dreamland tales for sleepyheads.She is a true and trusted friend,who helps them learn and play pretend.Although she's paid, it's plain to see,she serves them with a love that's free.
A CHILDCARE PROVIDER~ A willing partner for working moms,she comforts, pampers, soothes and calms With all the love she has to share,she's great to have when mommy can't be there.She loves to rock a fussy child,corrects the one that gets too wild.She hears her share of tearful pleas,and comforts those with skinned up k...nees.With little children she plays games of peek,for bigger ones it's hide and seek.She is an expert at each game,but somehow loses just the same.She helps them learn the alphabet,and gives them hugs when they're upset.She gently tucks them in their beds,with dreamland tales for sleepyheads.She is a true and trusted friend,who helps them learn and play pretend.Although she's paid, it's plain to see,she serves them with a love that's free.
Monday, April 26, 2010
You Are God Alone
We sang this great song in church yesterday and the words are great!
You are not a god
Created by human hands
You are not a god
Dependant on any mortal man
You are not a god
In need of anything we can give
By Your plan, that's just the way it is
You are God alone
From before time began
You were on Your throne
Your are God alone
And right now
In the good times and bad
You are on Your throne
You are God alone
You're the only God
Whose power none can contend
You're the only God
Whose name and praise will never end
You're the only God
Who's worthy of everything we can give
You are God
And that's just the way it is
You are God alone
From before time began
You were on Your throne
Your are God alone
And right now
In the good times and bad
You are on Your throne
You are God alone
Unchangeable
Unshakable
Unstoppable
That's what You are
Unchangeable
Unshakable
Unstoppable
That's what You are
You are God alone
From before time began
You were on Your throne
Your are God alone
And right now
In the good times and bad
You are on Your throne
You are God alone
Check it out on youtube by Philips, Craig, & Dean!
Saturday, April 24, 2010
In Need of Venting...
So, I will probably get land blasted for this but seriously people....why is it that the only time 'long lost friends' (very loosly quoted) decide to contact you is when they have an ax to grind? I mean seriously....I only wish that people IRL (in real life) could be half as brutally honest as the 'long lost friends!'
I am a F.ace.Boo.k lover, I hop on it at least once a day, but usually several times a day to keep up with some very dear people that I just do not live very close to. It is also a was to promote my business and quickly touch base with local friends to invite over for a BBQ or something that they can get at their leisure, but lately FB has been bugging me in the sense that all these so called friends are sending friend requests and all of a sudden you have hundreds of 'friends' that are up in your business judging you. I know, I know...you are thinking that a person shouldn't A) be on FB at all or B) accept friends that are not truely friends. Well you see, some of them you don't suspect to be all knife in the back until it actually happens. Maybe I am to trusting, but seriously...I would not do that to someone, so I really do not expect others to do it to me.
Now for the IRLers that read my blogs. Lets get something straight...I am a big girl and I can take your honesty. If you have a bone to pick with me...lets get it off your chest and work on the Biblical thing of taking care of it!
Okay, so I just have alot on my mind right now and sometimes I feel as if I am about to burst because so many people are all sweet and kind when in fact they get together with girlfriends and dish about me when I am not around. If you don't want to be a real friend....lets stop kidding ourselves!
Seriously, I really am done now! Hope you are having a FANTASTIC weekend!
I am a F.ace.Boo.k lover, I hop on it at least once a day, but usually several times a day to keep up with some very dear people that I just do not live very close to. It is also a was to promote my business and quickly touch base with local friends to invite over for a BBQ or something that they can get at their leisure, but lately FB has been bugging me in the sense that all these so called friends are sending friend requests and all of a sudden you have hundreds of 'friends' that are up in your business judging you. I know, I know...you are thinking that a person shouldn't A) be on FB at all or B) accept friends that are not truely friends. Well you see, some of them you don't suspect to be all knife in the back until it actually happens. Maybe I am to trusting, but seriously...I would not do that to someone, so I really do not expect others to do it to me.
Now for the IRLers that read my blogs. Lets get something straight...I am a big girl and I can take your honesty. If you have a bone to pick with me...lets get it off your chest and work on the Biblical thing of taking care of it!
Okay, so I just have alot on my mind right now and sometimes I feel as if I am about to burst because so many people are all sweet and kind when in fact they get together with girlfriends and dish about me when I am not around. If you don't want to be a real friend....lets stop kidding ourselves!
Seriously, I really am done now! Hope you are having a FANTASTIC weekend!
Wednesday, April 7, 2010
Review of An Honest Love
Tuesday, March 30, 2010
Short and to the Point...
I will make this short and to the point....do you know what is wrong with society these days? I can give you two things that are very real and make it very difficult for me to put myself out there to meet/trust new people.
1) Very few people really try to live their lives according to what God would have for them and what His Word says for us to do.
2) Very few people really care about anyone other than themselves....so many people are selfish and could care less about the hearts of others. You see this often on FB, people status' that rant about the latest gadget or what have you and there are tons of comments...but someone really puts their heart out there and expresses a real hurt and no one cares!
Anyway...just a little grrrr from me....I don't understand why more people cannot be a little more caring, but then again these two points kind of go hand in hand too!
1) Very few people really try to live their lives according to what God would have for them and what His Word says for us to do.
2) Very few people really care about anyone other than themselves....so many people are selfish and could care less about the hearts of others. You see this often on FB, people status' that rant about the latest gadget or what have you and there are tons of comments...but someone really puts their heart out there and expresses a real hurt and no one cares!
Anyway...just a little grrrr from me....I don't understand why more people cannot be a little more caring, but then again these two points kind of go hand in hand too!
Wednesday, March 24, 2010
Ideal Protein Diet
So I have had several private messages and a few comments asking about the Ideal Protein Diet and I wanted to share a little bit of information on it for those of you that are interested.
The way that I found out about it was because of a dear friend of mine that has followed my struggles with PCOS and weight issues for a while...knowing I have had four miscarriages along the way. She had several other friends that had been on the IPD and had seen how well it worked for them (PCOS and all) and each person she knew that tried it and stuck to it was extremely successful! She also saw some of them go on to carry pregnancies full term and deliver healthy babies! So after seeing how well it worked she passed the information on to me...
Since her and I live a state a part, I didn't know where I could find a consultant to work with so I went to this website and emailed them. There just happened to be a wonderful lady right in my town that I meet with every single week! I started the 1st of January, not as a resolution...just because of the cost I wanted to wait until after Christmas so I didn't put trips to see family in jeopordy because of my diet! There is a one time only consultant fee at the beginning of $100 and then I also bought a week and a half of food...all the vitamins...the shaker...and a couple of dressings and what have you. You need to plan on around $90.00 a week for the diet but this include all food except 4 cups of veggies and one 5 oz portion of lean meat. In my opinion it is an amazing diet and the price is worth it. The first 5 days of the diet are a little rough as you are cleaning out your system...but on day 5 I started feeling amazing with more energy than I have had in a VERY long time (maybe since high school!) Since 1.1.10 I have lost 35 lbs and feel amazing! I am in a size 12 pant and started in between an 18 and a 20! The results are amazing! Several people have started since I have that I know and a bunch of them have even better results than me!
If you have any more questions please feel free to contact me through leaving your email in a comment and I would be happy to either answer them privately through email or publically on this blog!
If you choose the IPD you will not be sorry!
The way that I found out about it was because of a dear friend of mine that has followed my struggles with PCOS and weight issues for a while...knowing I have had four miscarriages along the way. She had several other friends that had been on the IPD and had seen how well it worked for them (PCOS and all) and each person she knew that tried it and stuck to it was extremely successful! She also saw some of them go on to carry pregnancies full term and deliver healthy babies! So after seeing how well it worked she passed the information on to me...
Since her and I live a state a part, I didn't know where I could find a consultant to work with so I went to this website and emailed them. There just happened to be a wonderful lady right in my town that I meet with every single week! I started the 1st of January, not as a resolution...just because of the cost I wanted to wait until after Christmas so I didn't put trips to see family in jeopordy because of my diet! There is a one time only consultant fee at the beginning of $100 and then I also bought a week and a half of food...all the vitamins...the shaker...and a couple of dressings and what have you. You need to plan on around $90.00 a week for the diet but this include all food except 4 cups of veggies and one 5 oz portion of lean meat. In my opinion it is an amazing diet and the price is worth it. The first 5 days of the diet are a little rough as you are cleaning out your system...but on day 5 I started feeling amazing with more energy than I have had in a VERY long time (maybe since high school!) Since 1.1.10 I have lost 35 lbs and feel amazing! I am in a size 12 pant and started in between an 18 and a 20! The results are amazing! Several people have started since I have that I know and a bunch of them have even better results than me!
If you have any more questions please feel free to contact me through leaving your email in a comment and I would be happy to either answer them privately through email or publically on this blog!
If you choose the IPD you will not be sorry!
Thursday, March 18, 2010
A Mama's Heart
While I am a Mama in most sense of the word, I have never carried a baby in my womb for 9 months and birthed him or her. I do not look at my children and think, "wow, he has his Daddy's eyes" or "the poor girl has my nose" or what have you. But I have something even more special, I have the fact that God specifically place our Princess and our BooBear in our lives!
You see, while we have been able to conceive four beautiful babies that stayed with me for 6-8 weeks each, we never knew if they were boys or girls...or what color eyes they would have, or who's features they would carry. But in all four of those situations if we would have been able to carry them to full term we would most likely not pursued adoption, and thus our two would not be with us. Don't get me wrong, they are missed, and I deeply wish I would have been given the chance to be their Mama...but God had different plans.
And while we had 26 'matches' in adoption before we finally brought our Princess home from the hospital, again, if any one of those beautiful lives would have come to our home they would not have been the children that God intended to be with us.
I look at our Princess and see so much of my mother in her, right down to the teeth...but how is that possible? They are not even related by blood...and if you know is IRL they really do not have any resemblence of eachother either. But, boy oh boy, do they have similar personalities! Sometimes it scares me how much of my mother's personality my beautiful daughter carries...but you see that was Gods plan. He placed the Princess in our lives because she was the 'perfect' fit! It even cracks me up a little. The Princess is named after both Handsome and my paternal grandmothers for her first and middle name...both our grandmothers had an interesting wave ~both of them waved the same~ and our Princess waves that very way. Neither my husband or myself do, she just started doing it like that! Another great example is how my grandma used to cross her arms on her tummy when she was listening or talking or waiting and my daughter does that very same thing. Gods plan is the perfect plan.
I look at our BooBear and see that he looks SO MUCH like my husbands side of the family. I often look at pictures of his older boy cousin when he was at a simliar age and they look so much alike (to me) it is interesting. He does carry different physical features that are so much like my husbands family that most of the time people just figure he is our biological child. While we view him no differently than if he were our bio child, he is not...BUT, he is the BooBear God knew we needed and placed with us because again, he is are 'perfect fit.' There are even a few times I can look at him and see a glimpse of my brother when he was a wee one...every now and then! Gods plan is the perfect plan.
Not that it makes it any easier that we lost four perfect babies to miscarriage, or that it hurts any less that we received 26 phone calls stating we were to be parents and 26 more phone calls telling us something went backwards and it wouldn't be happening. I grieved for each of those 30 little angels...little angels that even though they were not really IN OUR LIVES they were and I loved them...before I even knew them!
Now, I am not preaching away for no reason...though we all do need a reminder of Gods plan and timing being perfect every now and then...
BUT, there is a reason for this. I do not know how many people read this blog on a regular basis...I do not know if you know me IRL or if you stumbled across this blog just by chance and are a first time reader...or a secret stalker that hasn't commented yet...but I do want to ask you one thing...
Please be in prayer for us, we have felt the desire to grow our family by way of adoption again. We do not know if it is tomorrow or two years from now...but we believe it is a desire God has placed in our hearts and we have been praying for a year already to bring our O.O.H. (boy) or E.D.H (girl) home. Our children are excited for the day that happens and pray daily (sometimes more than once and on their own) for bring a brother and/or a sister home. Now here is the thing, while we have enough to support more children on a daily basis, we do not have $25000 laying around to pay for the adoption. We did a fundraiser last year that helped us raise $250 towards the cause of our adoption...but that is all we have! We also have a laywer in town who is willing to do our states finalization for nothing...so that is another provision God has given to us. BUT, that isn't the total cost of the adoption. I believe God can do amazing things, and I believe that He could help us to raise the full amount and not have to take any debt out for this adoption...
That is where you, the faithful readers, come in to play. I am not asking you to all send me your money (though if you wanted to email me! lol) I am asking that you pray with us for the finacial provision so that we can grow our family again. I am also asking that if you know of any great fundraisers please leave in the comments how I can reasearch and look into them. My prayer every year is to bring our baby home for Christmas...I prayed that in 2008, in 2009, and I have been praying that for 2010...so if you have any advise or information to share with us, or if your church might be interested in doing a benefit to help an adoptive family out...please let me know!
Here's to bringing our bab(y)(ies) home this year~
You see, while we have been able to conceive four beautiful babies that stayed with me for 6-8 weeks each, we never knew if they were boys or girls...or what color eyes they would have, or who's features they would carry. But in all four of those situations if we would have been able to carry them to full term we would most likely not pursued adoption, and thus our two would not be with us. Don't get me wrong, they are missed, and I deeply wish I would have been given the chance to be their Mama...but God had different plans.
And while we had 26 'matches' in adoption before we finally brought our Princess home from the hospital, again, if any one of those beautiful lives would have come to our home they would not have been the children that God intended to be with us.
I look at our Princess and see so much of my mother in her, right down to the teeth...but how is that possible? They are not even related by blood...and if you know is IRL they really do not have any resemblence of eachother either. But, boy oh boy, do they have similar personalities! Sometimes it scares me how much of my mother's personality my beautiful daughter carries...but you see that was Gods plan. He placed the Princess in our lives because she was the 'perfect' fit! It even cracks me up a little. The Princess is named after both Handsome and my paternal grandmothers for her first and middle name...both our grandmothers had an interesting wave ~both of them waved the same~ and our Princess waves that very way. Neither my husband or myself do, she just started doing it like that! Another great example is how my grandma used to cross her arms on her tummy when she was listening or talking or waiting and my daughter does that very same thing. Gods plan is the perfect plan.
I look at our BooBear and see that he looks SO MUCH like my husbands side of the family. I often look at pictures of his older boy cousin when he was at a simliar age and they look so much alike (to me) it is interesting. He does carry different physical features that are so much like my husbands family that most of the time people just figure he is our biological child. While we view him no differently than if he were our bio child, he is not...BUT, he is the BooBear God knew we needed and placed with us because again, he is are 'perfect fit.' There are even a few times I can look at him and see a glimpse of my brother when he was a wee one...every now and then! Gods plan is the perfect plan.
Not that it makes it any easier that we lost four perfect babies to miscarriage, or that it hurts any less that we received 26 phone calls stating we were to be parents and 26 more phone calls telling us something went backwards and it wouldn't be happening. I grieved for each of those 30 little angels...little angels that even though they were not really IN OUR LIVES they were and I loved them...before I even knew them!
Now, I am not preaching away for no reason...though we all do need a reminder of Gods plan and timing being perfect every now and then...
BUT, there is a reason for this. I do not know how many people read this blog on a regular basis...I do not know if you know me IRL or if you stumbled across this blog just by chance and are a first time reader...or a secret stalker that hasn't commented yet...but I do want to ask you one thing...
Please be in prayer for us, we have felt the desire to grow our family by way of adoption again. We do not know if it is tomorrow or two years from now...but we believe it is a desire God has placed in our hearts and we have been praying for a year already to bring our O.O.H. (boy) or E.D.H (girl) home. Our children are excited for the day that happens and pray daily (sometimes more than once and on their own) for bring a brother and/or a sister home. Now here is the thing, while we have enough to support more children on a daily basis, we do not have $25000 laying around to pay for the adoption. We did a fundraiser last year that helped us raise $250 towards the cause of our adoption...but that is all we have! We also have a laywer in town who is willing to do our states finalization for nothing...so that is another provision God has given to us. BUT, that isn't the total cost of the adoption. I believe God can do amazing things, and I believe that He could help us to raise the full amount and not have to take any debt out for this adoption...
That is where you, the faithful readers, come in to play. I am not asking you to all send me your money (though if you wanted to email me! lol) I am asking that you pray with us for the finacial provision so that we can grow our family again. I am also asking that if you know of any great fundraisers please leave in the comments how I can reasearch and look into them. My prayer every year is to bring our baby home for Christmas...I prayed that in 2008, in 2009, and I have been praying that for 2010...so if you have any advise or information to share with us, or if your church might be interested in doing a benefit to help an adoptive family out...please let me know!
Here's to bringing our bab(y)(ies) home this year~
The Flowering Cross by Beth Rayn
We have read this book several times since it came in the mail and I cannot get enough of it and what is better is that my children and the Patch kids cannot either! What a way to use very real situations (I think everyone knows at least one 'Papa Jack' to teach children Biblical Principles!
I love how Beth Ryan uses this story to show children how to be a witness, even if they dont seem to be lovable; along with being kind and caring for others! I really love the Bible verses and a spiritual tidbits throughout the book geared towards children.
This is a beautiful book that will be an Easter tradition in our home!
This review is for BOOKSNEEZE...check them out here if you are a blogger and are interested in becoming reviewer for them!
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