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Tuesday, January 18, 2011

A quote and my thoughts

"One woman will brag about her children, while another complains about hers; they could probably swap children without swapping tunes"
I found this quote (without author noted) and it really hit home to me. I have always tried very hard not to sound like a mother complaining about my children. Have I failed, YES, but I try each day to be ONLY thankful for my children and where we are. Do I complain about other things, more than I should...but why would I complain about one of the top three most amazing gifts God has blessed me with?
I know many women who have very little good to say about being a mother, or sharing the experience with their spouse. Is being a mother hard, YES! It is probably one of the most difficult hats I have to wear. But it is amazing, and I find it amazing how God has pieced our family together in His most perfect way! Now I know I have complained of situations before, but what do you hear fairly new mothers complain about out of the gates?
"I am so tired, this child wakes up for nightly feedings and I cannot sleep." I always found the night time feedings a blessing. The house is quiet, the lights are dim, and there are no distractions and absolutely nothing else for me to be doing but feeding that precious baby. I find this true of all my babies, even our foster babies, I have never minded getting up for that precious bonding time no matter what the hour.

"Changing diapers is for the birds, those blow outs are the worst." Here, I do tend to say that it isn't the most pleasant thing in the world to do...but having two children that struggled to go 'stinky' more than once a week as little ones I was always relieved when they would go...no matter how the outcome showed itself. Pleasant, no, but you had to know this was bound to happen when you started thinking about having children.

These are just a couple of things that I hear often even at baby showers when the blissful expectant mother is 'getting advise' from the already 'experienced' parents. It makes me sad that such things have to be brought into that precious happiness that expecting your first baby brings!

Now I am getting to experience a new level of parenthood. Both of my children to this point are adopted, because I was 'pre-menopausal' (however you spell it) and would not have any children after our 4th miscarriage. God prooved Himself to be still in the miracle business when in August of 2010 we discovered we were expecting! As I sit here now we are at 29 weeks and still doing well! You hear many women with a vast number of complaints about pregnancy. Here is another place I try very hard not to complain...this is a blessing, I know MANY people that would do almost anything to be in the state I am in right now. They wouldn't be caring about how much the scale has changed in 7 months or that they waddle everywhere they walk or they are not sleeping all the way through the night or that they cannot fit into 'normal' clothing or how uncomfortable they are or all the other things you often hear from pregnant women. Here again, I have tried very hard to not complain...have I failed, most likely, but my desire is to be thankful for this pregnancy that God has blessed me with. It has been exciting to get to experience the amazingness of a baby growing inside of my womb and feeling the kicks, and while my pregnancy hasn't been a bed of roses, even that has been somewhat exciting. We have had something like 7 ultrasounds since 6 weeks, 5 days and our last being just two weeks ago. I get to have at least one more before she is born too!

So going back to that quote, what kind of a mother do you want to be. If I were to constantly complain about my children, now that they are 4 years old, they would be hearing that and what would that do to them? Not only that, but what does it do to the people you are complaining to? Do they have children of their own? Do they not? Are they having trouble having children and are sitting there thinking 'lady if only you knew how much I would love to take your children off your hands and love on them' because of what they have been through? Our words strike farther than we think sometimes, and when dealing with such a precious gift as children we need to watch what we say....not only for ourselves, but for our children and people around us!