People

So, if you know me IRL you know that there were many trials that we faced in the middle of our marriage (almost 7 1/2 years) and many of those trials came about because we didn't fit into a certain mold that other people believed Christians should be.  The purpose of this blog is still not completely clear to me, but it seems that it is my {just have to get it off my chest} kind of blog!

Well these last few weeks have been those of trying to seek and hear God.  I believe we are on the right track, but it seems that every time something good is coming around one of the above mentioned people step out from the past and lash out.  Or maybe it just seems that way, my husband preached an AWESOME message on Sunday.  He gets to preach every once in a while at our church to give the pastor a break or while he is away, but this message seemed to be exactly what was heavy on my heart the last while!

It was titled Success is Loving!  He talked about how Peter denied the Lord, he said that he didn't even know "the man."  We all know that Jesus heard all of this.  I liked how my husband said that "the meeting of their eyes has to be one of the most painful exchanges in human experience."  After this Peter wept bitterly the Bible says.

He then went on to talk of when the Lord said, "Simon, son of John, do you love me more than these?"  Speaking of the other disciples.  Peter responded "Yes, Lord; you know that I love you."  But Jesus had asked him if he had the agape (selfless unconditional spiritual) love and Peter responded with Philia (a friendship affectionate type) love. 

Jesus asked him again with the agape and Peter again answered with the Philia.  Then Jesus goes on to ask him a third time, but this time he did ask if he had the Philia (friendship) type love for him.  Peter then aswered but saying, "Lord, you know everything; you know that I love you." Speaking of the Philia love! 

This started with three questions followed by three denials and come to a point where there were three questions from Jesus and three times that Peter could tell Him of the love he had for Him!

Deuteronomy 6:4-5 says, "Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your stregnth."

It is possible to do most anything without loving God, and some may not even know.  Your heart is only completely known by you and God.  You can pastor, work, teach Sunday School, work on a bus route, or be a missionary without loving God.  But we need to get our priorities back in order and put loving God back on top of service to Him!

My husband also said on Sunday, "Realizing that loving God is the ground of all true success is truly liberating."  And he left us with three ingredients to loving God!

#1~An absolute honesty regarding our love for God.
#2~Cultivate earnestly the conscious inner ability to love Him while we serve Him.
#3~Spend special time with Him.


I was touched by this message.  Loving God is the most important thing and it is really what my husband and I try to base our every decision around!  Have we failed, YES....will we fail again, YES!  But that doesn't mean we aren't Christian, it just means we are sinful humans like everyone else. 

The praise team followed this up by singing "Here I Am":

"Something in my heart


Burning like a fire

I want to live for You



Need Your touch right now

Fill me with Your power

Power to live for You my God



I will not be moved

I will stand for You



I will go where You send me

Jesus take me now I am Yours

I am Yours



Lay my life on the altar

Everything I give to You alone



Here I am

Here I am



Here I am send me"

Which seemed so perfect, but they didn't know what he was preaching and he didn't know what they were singing!  I couldn't control my tears as we sang that song....it was like someone had stabbed a hole in my heart so that every bit of emotion rolled out through the words of this song!  It will be interesting to see what God does.  I believe that there are amazing things going to happen...soon, and we will be here ready and waiting!  But until then, our day to day life is to love and serve Him!

Hope this was as much of an encouragement to you as it was to me!  Maybe this is more just a reminder for me before the details esacpe my mind!  But I have now realized that the people that think we are not Christian because of how we dress, or decisions we have made really do not matter.  What matters is that we love God with everything in us and that each decision we have made we have made through prayer and following God! That is how we plan to continue!